Are you hiding from your dream?

You know dreams and big plans are scary.

Would you think they’d be scary to little kids? Not yours to them; their own dreams. What kind of dreams and goals could a kid have that would scare them?

Doesn’t matter what kind. They’re all scary.

Last weekend with the grandkids we watched the first few days of the Olympics and athletes reaching their dream.

We watched the movie “Being Elmo” about the guy who dreamed of working with Jim Henson and who then became Elmo. We watched “Cool Runnings” about the Jamaican bobsled team’s dreams. We viewed the “Caine’s Arcade” video about the nine-year old boy who dreamed of his own arcade and then created one from cardboard boxes in his dad’s auto parts store.

Now it was the kids’ turn.

I gave the six of them a fun worksheet. In huge bold letters at the top of the worksheet were the words “My Big Dream.” Under that it said, “One day I will ____” with a blank for them to finish the sentence.

I reminded them of the stories we’d seen over several days. I told them their dream could be something they do or accomplish or make or become. Whatever they felt or heard inside them.

The worksheet asked a few simple questions about their dream, what it is, how it would help people, and it had a place to draw a picture of what it would be like when their big dream happened. I just wanted them to realize they could think big. I was lighthearted about it.

It scared them all

One wouldn’t do it. The five others tried to hide what they were writing. Then when they did write they turned their papers over and didn’t want to talk about it. The twelve year old folded his worksheet in thirds and sealed it in an envelope and stashed it away. NO WAY would he share what it was about.

You’d think you’d naturally embrace change and dreams and hope.

Nope.

Fear of dreams starts young and it doesn’t go away. The kid afraid of criticism, rejection, failure, and being told “you can’t do that!” turns into the grownup afraid of the same thing.

Hiding your dream from others is understandable.

But you can hide it from yourself too. Do that and you’ll spend the rest of your life with your fingers in your ears so you don’t hear that thing calling your name.

It takes courage to listen. No matter how old you are.

by | 1 Comment

Your energy is a compass

Energy is like income, a checkbook, your IQ. You don’t have the same as everyone else, and you’re not supposed to.

And you have different energies available for different things.

When energy gets low you can experience stress. Then stress uses up more energy. Lower energy leads to more stress and less energy and more stress. It’s a rotten little circle.

God may give you less energy in some areas so that you won’t focus on areas where he doesn’t want you.

If you do mis-focus, you run out of gas to force you back to where you should be.

You know those times when you’re going hard but you’re not tired and you feel like you could go on forever?

Maybe that’s your true north.

by | 3 Comments

Chill. And run.

You are a created thing. You didn’t make yourself up. You’re not your own idea.

Your maker knows how he made you. He knows your strengths, your weaknesses, your pace, your abilities, your potential, your limits. Did you ever think that maybe he did it on purpose? All of it?

He knows the level of your ability to deal with life depending on yourself (your natural ability), and depending on him (your supernatural ability). Did you ever think that he limited your ability so he could make up the difference?

He engineered placing you in your family, with those parents and siblings, or without any of them. And he engineered your school and friends and job and marriage, or the lack of them. He’s overseen, or permitted, all your experiences and circumstances.

He created time, and how it moves, and how much there is. Weeks, days, hours, and minutes are the same for everyone. He knows what’s available to you today for any moment, for any project, for your life. He knows every interruption and glitch.

He knows the assignment he’s given you and what it’s for. He knows everything involved and needed to do it. He knows it’s YOUR assignment, and he gave it fully aware of you and the time available.

Knowing all this, what’s the stress? Where’s that come from? Chill.

And why are you letting discouragement drag you down? Run.

by | Leave a Comment

What if they’re NOT Martians?

Say you’re attacked by Martians. They’re little green men, they’re acting aggressively, and there’s a large red “M” on the side of their spaceship.

It would be normal for you to defend yourself.

You’ve seen War of the Worlds. So you fight. And you lose. Or maybe you win and go “whew!”

Later, amidst the carnage of battle, you discover they aren’t Martians at all. They’re from the planet Maloomba.

And that aggressive behavior you observed was not aggressiveness — it’s normal conduct on their planet as they go about daily life. What looked like weapons are tools they use to survive and do their work. To them, you attacked first.

Oops

They aren’t for you, they aren’t against you. They’re just being who they are.

But you didn’t know any of that

Until now.

You only had your own limited judgment, perspective, and experience. And you put total confidence in it.

You’ll react differently the next time little green men in a spaceship with an “M” on the side appear. Your perspective has changed.

And in a lot of other ways you might decide to be a little more cautious about jumping to conclusions.

Perspective matters

Choose yours with patience and humility. Get all the help you can to make sure you know what you’re seeing.

Save your energy for the real battles. There will always be plenty.

by | Leave a Comment

This isn’t about being skinny

I tell my wife she looks skinny.

She tells me to shut up.

I say, “Here, let me take a picture.” She’s standing in the kitchen.

I take the picture with my phone. She looks at it and goes, “You did that with an app. You have a skinny app.”

I know I have her now.

I say, “Here, take my picture and see if it looks like me.”

She takes my picture. It looks like me.

I say, “So see, it’s true, that’s what you look like.”

What do you refuse to believe about yourself?

Just because you’ve repeated something to yourself for years (good or bad) doesn’t make it true.

Brutal reality has two sides. We usually major on facing one or the other.

Face both.

One side is that you ain’t all that.

The other side is that inside you is the drive to create, contribute, connect, and leave a mark. But in a way that looks just like you.

It’s hard to embrace your calling if you refuse to accept your gifting.

by | 1 Comment

I just noticed two age spots on my hands

When we were teenagers “bombing around” (that’s what we called it) with our friends, my brother sometimes yelled out the car window at senior citizens, “Hey you old bag! You oughta be dead!” Then he’d laugh. He thought he was hilarious.

Today he’s really a good guy. Back then, like all teens, his brain was not fully formed yet.

When you’re growing up it’s easy to think you’re on a different road than your parents, a different road than “old people.”

It’s the same road

Parents and others are just farther down that same road than you. And the farther you go, the more people there are behind you; people who think they’re on a different road.

Somewhere along the road you realize this.

That’s when the catharsis begins. The confrontation with the brutal reality that you’re not an exception. For some it’s too much–you keep the look, the clothes, the hair style. Or you adopt the look, the clothes, the style of those now at the age you refuse to leave behind.

Everybody sees the comb-over but you

Best to embrace this road we’re all on.

Do not despise the era and generation in which the Lord has chosen to give you influence. It’s on purpose. You’ll not pass this way again.

by | Leave a Comment

Everybody carries a pee cup

The nurse steered me into the bathroom and handed me the plastic cup.

“When you get done, put it in the little door over there.”

‘Over there’ was on the wall across the hall from the bathroom. You have to leave the bathroom with your cup.

Great, I just know that as soon as I get done and open the bathroom door, that waiting room door is going to open and the nurse will walk into the hall with someone else and I’ll be standing here with a cup of pee.

That’s exactly what happened

Before I opened the door, I even listened closely for a second to see if all was quiet in the hall. It was. And as soon as I opened the door, the waiting room door opened and we all almost bumped into each other.

“Excuse me,” I said, and we did the awkward “No you go ahead” dance. I almost said, “Hi! This is my pee! That came from inside me! You know, that no one EVER SEES! Until now.”

I didn’t say that. But it’s what I felt. Exposed. Like a big flashing yellow neon arrow was pointing at the cup in my hand.

Then…

I noticed the new patient in the hall had her empty cup in her hand. She was next in the bathroom.

I wasn’t alone.

Every patient in that office—dozens a day—listens at the bathroom door and then walks out into public holding their pee in their hand. And feels alone but isn’t.

Isn’t that how it is?

You try to hide the ‘private’ stuff, the stuff that’s so personal you just know no one else has this, does this, knows this, feels this, experiences this, thinks this, or had this happen to them.

And then for a second you stop thinking of yourself and look down and you see they’re holding a cup of pee too.

You’re so busy walking around trying to hide it that you don’t realize everyone else is trying to hide theirs.

We all just need to fess up

“Hi, this is my stuff I don’t want anyone to see. I see you have yours too. Now can we just move on and stop pretending we can hide?”

Pretending and hiding takes a lot of energy that could go towards other more fun, beneficial things.

You can spread a lot of encouragement with the energy you save by not worrying about hiding what everyone knows anyway.

You’re not alone

I’ll give you grace and you give me grace. I won’t point and laugh at your pee and you don’t laugh at mine.

Now let’s go have a Mountain Dew.

 

by | 2 Comments

Expect the basement

 

Sooner or later you always get to the basement, in every relationship, family, workplace, organization, neighborhood, church.

The basement is not where the bodies are. It’s not where the bad stuff is.

The basement is where you see the stuff you don’t like

It’s where the sausage is made. It’s the tangled underside of the quilt you love.

It’s the first argument where you realize that new special person doesn’t really play fair. And they think the same of you.

It’s underwear on the floor and the toilet seat up, but to them it’s you griping about normal stuff like underwear on the floor and toilet seats up. All multiplied times a thousand.

It’s HR polices, decisions that seem silly, lack of appreciation, misunderstandings, quirky bosses, and ‘personalities.’

It’s the pastor’s long stories, the style of music, the ministries they emphasize, the ministries they don’t emphasize, offenses all around, and ‘it shouldn’t be this way, this is church.’

The basement is different for everybody

The things you find in the basement are not the same things others find. Some see you in the basement. And you see them.

I think in any new thing, you can expect to see the basement within a year or two. Maybe three. The more involved you are, the sooner you find it. The longer you’re there, the more you see.

At first everything is wonderful. Upstairs is bright and welcoming. The lights are on, the floors are swept, the dishes clean. This doesn’t mean it’s phony or fake; it’s just the way it is.

When you see the basement at the beginning, you leave, right? It’s the reason you don’t marry that person or take that job or go to that church. The lights aren’t bright to you.

So what do you do when you finally find the basement later?

That, of course is up to you.

What is not up to you is whether or not the next person or place has a basement. They do, guaranteed.

Expect the basement

Expect that the nature of the basement is that you disagree with what’s there and don’t like it.

And expect the temptation to fool yourself that the next basement will for sure be better than this one.

by | 1 Comment

That thing you want might be important. Here’s why.

We’re probably not talking about a car/house kind of thing. More meaningful than that.

Imagine you just died

and you’re in heaven engaged in a heavy duty conversation with God.

He’s showing you some things that didn’t happen in your life, some things that for some reason you didn’t do. Maybe a project, idea, vocation, relationship, ministry…something like that.

And you say, “That’s exactly what I really wanted!”

And he says, “I know.”

And you realize

That thing you wanted was what he wanted, too

That’s why you wanted it. He made you want it, so you would cooperate with him, trust him, and do it.

But you didn’t.

So now, after you wake from your Scrooge dream and find you’re still alive, what are you going to do?

Not believe it?

Be afraid?

Be lazy?

Avoid it?

Make excuses?

The dream conversation could turn into a real one at any second.

by | Leave a Comment

He coulda been a hero

 

Guy’s wife is standing next to a booth at the fast food restaurant. He walks up with their bag of food and says, “I’d rather sit at a table.”

She pauses. “But, I’d really like a booth.” She looks at him.

This is the moment where heroes are made.

He looks away from her toward the table and starts walking. “Well, I’d really like a table.” He’s not mean. He just wants what he wants.

Would you rather have a table or a happy wife?

Put it another way: would you rather have a table or a wife who sees you as caring, unselfish, giving, and sacrificing.

Just letting her sit where she wants will make her happy?

She won’t add up the good all at once. She may not even notice that you gave her what she wanted. But if you repeat it, and it’s a lifestyle, she’ll feel honored, and in her heart you’ll get the credit.

When you get the credit, through her attitude of gratitude towards you, you’ll be happy. It will be a happiness that affects every part of your relationship together. It will be a happiness that you didn’t anticipate. A happiness that grows on you.

And then something magical happens

You begin to feel selfish for being generous and selfless.

You feel selfish because the good will you’re getting from your wife feels pretty good, and is worth more than what you gave up. You look for more chances to be selfless. The more you do it, the better she feels, and the better you feel.

The more you do it for her, the more she does it for you. Before you know it, your disagreements are about giving in, not getting: “I promise I just want what you want..really, it will make me happy.” And you mean it.

Or

you could get your way for twenty minutes and take the table and eat your burger and live with a woman who knows you care more about yourself than her.

She won’t say anything. But she’ll feel it. And you will too.

by | 1 Comment
« Previous Page
Next Page »
Copyright © 2024 · Gary Morland · Design by Design by Insight