The hardest thing for you to say to a family member is probably not:
“Isn’t this fun!”
“Please pass the beets.”
“Yes, I took out the garbage.”
When something is fun, or lighthearted, or informational, or you get credit, it’s easy to say it.
As unpleasant as it is, it’s also probably not hard to say:
“I can’t believe you said that!”
“You NEVER give me credit for anything!”
“I hate you!”
Those things can come out naturally, without trying. No thinking or effort required. They burst out driven by your emotions. You have to work to NOT say them.
You might find it harder to say:
“You are soooo good at that!”
“I need you.”
“You make my life better.”
Why is it easier to say something in anger than it is to say something that builds someone up? This is where we get a clue to a nasty default built into us: judging others and demanding justice of others comes naturally. We’re born selfish and judgmental. No child needs to be taught to say “mine!” or “no fair!”
Your hardest thing to say would be different from mine. But whatever it is, I’ll bet it requires humility.
Here’s the hardest thing for me to say to a family member. Yours might be something like it:
“You were right. I was wrong.”
More and more with my wife Brenda, I seem to be wrong. I’m getting really good at it. Shouldn’t I be getting better and better at being right? Maybe I am, but I guess she’s getting better at being right faster than I am.
Being wrong gets your attention. The more convinced you were that the other person was wrong, the harder it is to backtrack. Backtracking is not fun. The more you backtrack, the more sensitive you are to overconfidence. Sensitivity to overconfidence is good.
“I’m sorry” is much easier for me to say than
“You were right. I was wrong.”
Both parts together are the kicker. You de-exalt yourself while exalting the other one over you. This goes against everything built into you at birth.
But it goes WITH everything put into you through your faith in Jesus.
In humility count others more significant than yourselves – Philippians 2.3
God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble – James 4.6
Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted – Luke 18.14
Being right is fun. Being humble is godly.
What’s the hardest thing for you to say to a family member?
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